if it helps to know

I’ll do my best

not to let you get to me

but you will

and I’ll think of nice things

and doing them for

and with you

bottles of wine

too late at night


I'm shit at darts

unplugging the string lights

the old…



emptiness and something else


generally apt

a fair description

my emotions grey


shifting slowly

from almost one

to almost another



a ripple here

a ripple there

things still hurt

but the colors are brighter

more full


not hollow

I'm reeling

but still

I maintain a…



like when the music cuts out in a movie

and the camera zooms in on one character's face

just as they are having some important thought

we hear it narrated

that kind of stop

for no reason

maybe as a result of tiredness

exhaustion which I didn't earn

sometimes it…



overtly saturated
yearning for nothing
a moment of bliss, seconds of smiles
something to distract
for an iota more

and trembling
in anticipation of nothing
of a deep lacking

moments pass filled to the brim with boredom
eyes darting to find something
something novel
pleasure or pain
more, or less, than zero…



there are moments when I can’t maintain eye contact

straining through knee-deep thoughts of you

and what appears to have been

A lack of labels was my fault

of this, I feel relatively confident

I never expected myself to thrive in your company

I never thought I could

Never dreamt…



Spencer Healy

Spencer Healy


I go to university, I’m a struggling optimist. some of these are proper narrative pieces and some are more poetry, others lean towards stream of consciousness.