Daytime

overtly saturated
yearning for nothing
a moment of bliss, seconds of smiles
something to distract
for an iota more

twitchy
and trembling
in anticipation of nothing
of a deep lacking

moments pass filled to the brim with boredom
eyes darting to find something
something novel
interesting
pleasure or pain
more, or less, than zero

At night, the opposite
looking for nothing
but unable to find it

chattering trains of thought
in constant competition
for attention
with the hopes of action
while I tell them to keep it down

I am after all
trying to sleep
My thoughts are mine
and sometimes not

I'm sure my emotions are mine
breaking like waves against a seawall
erosion of personality

The natural forces
wildfires burning through memory
taking everything pleasant
leaving only char

Ruinous char
good fertilizer
forests take years to recover
I don’t have years