--
i find myself on the bench often
in front of me
bitter orange trees
behind me as well
a bike share service stop sits in front of me
there is a playground
sometimes there are lots of little kids
so full of joy
i write on this bench
becuase it’s close to where I stay
there is a little kiosk
selling papers and snacks
with residential buildings around
with shops
and quaint bars
where people seem to waste away
peacefully
sipping brandy or beer
smoking
without a care
there are no clouds today
just dark blue
and bright yellow orange
the ground here
is tiled concrete
the cracks full
with sunflower seed husks
another ode to that culture
of enjoyment so palpable in Spain
this has been my home in a way
but it feels like
it probably will always feel like home
there is a community here
the people talk
i feel alone
isolated from them
not by language
but by the very framework
on which my world was built
still
i feel their community
as if it were mine
their chatter and gossip
comforting reminders
their mannerisms
an escape
they aren’t rich here
and they won’t be
but they live
really live
to live
this is a rambling mess
but i think
that description is apt for me