if it helps to know

Spencer Healy
May 11, 2022

if it helps to know

I’ll do my best

not to let you get to me

but you will

and I’ll think of nice things

and doing them for

and with you

bottles of wine

too late at night

darts

I'm shit at darts

unplugging the string lights

the old guitarist

the piano

leaving through the side door, shouldn't have left

Constant disbelief

I’ll remember feeling lucky

every goddamn second

the luckiest

I must've been

And I’ll remember, painfully

fear

of expression

of loss

of belief

and what I got from it

Hope is fickle

I’m not hopeful

grateful though

I don't think I could be more grateful

I didn't know time could pass so peacefully

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Spencer Healy

I’m a struggling optimist. some of these are proper narrative pieces and some are more poetry, others lean towards stream of consciousness.