the state of Things

I don’t, in all honesty, know where this is going so I’m going to go ahead and address that right out of the gate. But I’m sure you are used to that. I think today I’d like to write about writing. And in a way, I would like to write about how it feels for me to write while also conveying more abstract emotion to you, the reader. To clarify I am going to attempt to convey how I feel while writing, to you, through writing. I understand its a little tricky, but ideally, you will not consciously acknowledge any of this and it will be a stream of seemingly seamless narrative.

When it’s time to write, which is hardly ever is, I wonder first what arbitrary characters or situations I would like you, the reader, to imagine. This is fun for me for a couple of reasons. Primarily it allows me to trick you and make you believe a story is about its details, which allows me to hide meaning in the unwritten parts where you never consciously look for it. Secondly, I need practice with creating interesting characters as to me they are secondary to the overarching meaning, so, by writing new and hopefully captivating characters I can become better at subverting your attention.

Nearly every story I have written is the opposite of character-driven, but I don't want them to feel this way. I want the reader to question what they just read when they are finished, put simply, to be confused. No one can explain confusion to you, you have to experience it, which puts it squarely next to art in my mind.

I want my writing to be clear and concise. This might sound counterintuitive considering the prior two paragraphs, however, it begins to make sense in the context of explainability. The best stories are told to adults and children. I want my writing to be clear enough plot-wise to be read by a child, but complex enough emotionally, or metafictionally, or whatever it may be, that it can captivate an avid adult reader.

Now that all of the superficial explanation of my writing is out of the way I’d like to just briefly explain my motivation for writing in general. I write because its what I do, there isn't much more I can say other than I am largely incapable of complex emotional or interpersonal expression, and this writing is the language so-to-speak of my internal monologue or dialogue. I can tell someone how I feel in so many fancy words and analogies, but reading my work from this website will entirely alter that perception no matter how close personally we are prior. This is the goal. I am providing another lens for the world to perceive me through, without ever being able to see through that lens myself. I strive to provide others with the tools they need to understand me in the same way a teacher provides a textbook to their students even though they meet regularly in class. The concept of studying people individually may seem frightening or largely just unrelatable and that is again the goal. Do not relate. Understand in your own context. If everyone I know wrote a little story every now and then that I was allowed to read I would objectively have a broader picture of their subconscious and conscious minds which in my opinion is the basis for lasting and meaningful relationships.

Time to wrap this up. The last paragraph is a lot to take in and quite frankly approaching the peak of disorganization. It does however tie back into my writing as it provides personal context on my thought process. I hope this has been informative and, let's not forget, confusing as well. I’ll be back with another story by the end of the week or so.


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Spencer Healy

I go to university, I’m a struggling optimist. some of these are proper narrative pieces and some are more poetry, others lean towards stream of consciousness.