today is like most days recently

so far

it’s only noon

Class distracted me a little from her

but it doesn’t really work like that

almost cried on my walk home

beautiful day

i feel like a box of broken glass

a shattered remnant

of something once so clear

I haven’t really done this before

not for a long time at least

took me years to get up to this point socially and even then it was all her doing to start

I never had the guts

content at the bottom

until you showed me the top

Now I fear the bottom is just the beginning

the beginning of a long brutal road back to nothing

to noone

how long it took for me to get comfortable around you

what do I do now

years of work

dangling now by threads i don’t think are strong enough

I wish time would help

but I fear my inner monologue can outrun it

moving on is not something I want to do

moving on

doesn’t describe it right

i never expected for these emotions to come to bear

and they did

just in time

just in time to make a fool of me

a child

funny how love makes us childlike

even if you are not mine,

I’ll be yours for a while now

no way around it

And it’ll be sad to watch

and it’ll be sad to feel

But I’d rather be sad about you than about me

i can remember the good parts.